This post feels more like a journal entry than anything else. Lately I've been thinking a lot about my personal contribution to the world and what that looks like. I've found myself confused on this purpose-journey a few times.
I've looked for validation based on what I assumed others thought of me. I've pursued opportunities grounded in what others "thought I would be good at". I've fallen for the occasional parental-guilt-trip and sought "more structured and reliable" opportunities in hopes that it would please my parents, family and others I look up to. Each time, after searching, seeking and chasing, I would come back feeling empty and distracted. And, each time, after reflecting on the hell I put myself through during this process, I knew all of this was happening because of a few things...
1. I was looking for acceptance, validation and happiness outside of myself.
2. I was asking my profession, abilities and contribution to fill-in the holes in my self-worth.
3. I was looking to make Brooke be okay with Brooke, by focusing on things outside of Brooke.
Rather than looking inside of myself and addressing the reasons I don't feel adequate, in the first place, I often attempt to ADD things to myself and/or HIGHLIGHT things about myself to fill in the holes. Do you ever do this? I think we all feel inadequate occasionally.
We all question ourselves, our direction, our purpose...and that's okay. Don't feel bad, it's often a result of our egos "coming to the rescue". Telling us that the more we're attached to amazing, shiny things the more we're loved, valued and important. Our egos couldn't be more wrong. I think that's my point here. We often search to please our egos (and the egos and opinions of others) by finding things or people "of importance" to attach ourselves to.
Let's stop today and commit ourselves to OURSELVES. What do I mean by this? Committing ourselves to nourishing and caring for our true selves. The person that we know behind closed doors, away from social media and apart from all of the outside roles, responsibilities and attachments.
Let's commit ourselves to loving ourselves deeply. We can start by reminding ourselves, when we feel "less than" that we are actually "more than"; more than our titles, peoples opinions and especially our own negative self-talk.
Here are a few of the resources that I keep close for moments of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy:
Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst
Judgment Detox by Gabby Bernstein
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
If you have something to share on this topic, don't be shy, comment below. I'd love to hear your thoughts!