How I Found My Mom-Balance (At Least For Now)

Ah, “mom-balance.” It’s the unicorn of motherhood, isn’t it? That mythical state where we seamlessly juggle work, kids, household, self-care, and somehow end the day with a serene smile and a spotless kitchen. Yeah, right.

I chased that unicorn for years, believing that if I just tried harder or organized better, I’d finally crack the code. Instead, I wound up exhausted, frazzled, and constantly feeling like I was failing. I told myself, Other moms must be getting it all done—why can’t I?

But here’s what I eventually learned: no one is getting it all done. At least, not all the things, every single day.

For a long time, I was trying to do it all daily—care for the kids, keep the house clean, stay on top of laundry, cook three healthy meals, spend intentional time with my husband, plan fun activities, and then, with whatever scraps of energy remained, squeeze in a little self-care. It was unsustainable, and honestly, impossible.

The shift happened when seasoned moms began telling me something that, at first, felt unsettling but quickly became freeing: “You can do it all, but there’s no such thing as done.”

That truth hit me hard. I realized I’d been waiting for everything to be perfectly in place—house clean, chores done, to-do list cleared—before I allowed myself to rest or enjoy the things that actually made me feel balanced. But that day never came. Instead, I stayed stuck in a cycle of chasing, never arriving.

It was like I kept waiting for the table to be set with the shiniest silverware and glowing candles before I let myself sit down to enjoy the meal. Meanwhile, life—the meal—was sitting right in front of me, growing cold.

The lesson? Balance isn’t found after everything is finished. It’s found in the small choices we make while life is still messy and unfinished. The laundry will always be there. The dishes will never stop. But I can still choose moments of balance in the middle of it all.

Recently I've stumbled upon a few things that have aided me in my finding-mommy-balance journey. Now, obviously, I'm not claiming to have it all figured out now, but I'm definitely feeling more balanced, more present, and less like I'm constantly running on fumes. Here's my (currently working!) recipe:

1. Setting Healthy Boundaries With MYSELF

You read that right. I needed to set healthy boundaries with myself. It’s common for us to look around and wonder why we feel so tired, overworked, or overwhelmed, and it’s actually a result of pushing ourselves beyond our limits. Sure, it’s one thing to motivate yourself to ‘push past your comfort zone’ when we’re working to achieve or meet goals, but it’s an entirely different matter to push yourself to the point of feeling overstressed, overtired, and hindering your body’s ability to function optimally.

2. Hydration: The Obvious One We Often Forget

We all know we should drink more water, but how many of us actually do? I was guilty of living on coffee and forgetting to hydrate until I felt a headache or jittery feelings creeping in. I've made a conscious effort to keep a water bottle with me at all times and aim for consistent hydration throughout the day. Turns out, a well-hydrated mama is a much happier mama! It helps with energy levels and mood.

3. Allowing Myself to (REALLY) Rest: Beyond Just Sleep

"Rest" used to mean collapsing into bed after the kids were asleep and scrolling through my phone until my eyes crossed. But true rest is about more than just sleep. It's about disconnecting, recharging, and allowing my body and mind to truly relax. This means putting down the phone, reading a book, or simply sitting in silence for a few minutes. It's about listening to my body and giving it what it needs.

4. Giving Myself Grace: The Most Important Ingredient

This one has been the hardest for me. I'm a recovering perfectionist, and I used to beat myself up for every little thing I felt I "failed" at. But motherhood is messy, unpredictable, and far from perfect. I've learned to give myself grace when things don't go according to plan. So the laundry is piled up? The kids eat the occasional snack plate for dinner? It's okay. We're all doing our best.

5. Making Time for "Me": Filling My Own Cup

This is the key to being more present with my kids. I'm not the mom I want to be when I'm constantly running on empty. I'm distracted, more easily triggered or even a little checked-out. I've realized that taking time for myself isn't selfish; it's essential. Whether it's going for a walk, doing yoga or pilates, or simply having a coffee date with a fellow mama, I'm making sure to schedule in time for things that fill my cup. Because my needs are met, it allows me to show up as a more patient, joyful, and engaged mom.

Finding “mom-balance” is an ongoing journey, not a destination. What works for me might not work for everyone. But I hope that sharing my experience will help you realize that they're not alone and that it's possible to find a sense of balance, even in the midst of the chaos.

Remember, you're doing a great job. Give yourself grace, prioritize your well-being, and don't be afraid to ask for help, mama.