Move Beyond the “Shoulds” and Live in Your Power

For a long time, I felt like I needed to fix myself. To smooth the edges, quiet the voice, dim the parts of me that felt “too much,” and become the version of womanhood and motherhood that made everyone else comfortable.

I spent years trying to fold myself into shapes that didn’t quite fit, thinking that if I could get it right (get me right), life would feel easier, more aligned, more acceptable. But the truth is, that constant self-editing never brought peace. It only created distance between who I was, who I wanted to be and trapped me on an anxiety-fueled hamster wheel.

Somewhere along the way, it just hit me.

After my latest round of self-editing, self-questioning, and self-fixing, I’d had enough. I’d realized that I’d focused so much on healing, growing, and evolving that I left no space for the very human parts of me. The parts that make mistakes, make the wrong decisions, and say the wrong things. Judging myself instead of giving myself grace to grow. I realized that I’m not a problem to be fixed and that healing does not lead to perfection, or a life without mistakes and hardships. In fact, healing creates the space needed to accept yourself, love yourself, and learn how to navigate life’s inevitable hardships.

Living a healed life is not living a life without problems; it’s knowing how to approach and navigate those problems with grace and self-compassion.

So, I don’t want to be fixed. And I don’t want to live my life treating myself like a project that’s perpetually behind schedule. I want room to simply be, in all the ways that feel true, even when they’re messy or loud or inconvenient for others. I want permission, from myself most of all, to take up space without apologizing for it.

What I really want is space to grow, to evolve, to shift through life’s seasons the way I’m meant to. I want to stretch toward the sun when the moment calls for it, drink up the rain when life feels heavy, wilt when I need to slow down, and bloom again… on my own timeline, in my own way. There is something sacred about honoring our rhythms instead of constantly fighting them. Something healing about letting ourselves move through life instead of pushing through it.

Have you ever felt like you were walking in line with the “shoulds” of life instead of leaning into your own purpose? I ask because I’ve been there. Following the unwritten rules, carrying expectations that weren’t even mine, living in a way that felt more like performance than truth.

As women (and especially as moms), we’re told so often who we should be and how we should show up. Softer here. Stronger there. Less emotional. More patient. Always available. Always resilient. It’s exhausting trying to match an imaginary standard that doesn’t honor who we truly are.

But what if who we already are is enough? What if the real magic happens when we stop chasing the version of ourselves that makes everyone else comfortable and instead choose the version that makes us feel alive? Maybe the goal isn’t to fix anything. Maybe it’s to remember ourselves (in each season) and trust that the woman we’re becoming doesn’t need permission, only space.

5 Steps to Move Beyond the “Shoulds” and Live in Your Power

1. Notice when you’re shrinking yourself.

Pay attention to the moments you dim your voice, your needs, or your intuition to make others more comfortable. Awareness is the first invitation back to yourself.

2. Question the source of every “should.”

Ask: Who does this serve? Is this mine or something I inherited? When you trace a “should” back to its origin, you can see whether it aligns with your truth or someone else’s expectations.

3. Give yourself permission to take up space.

Allow your desires, boundaries, dreams, and emotions to exist without justification. Permission is powerful—especially when it comes from within.

4. Create small daily practices that anchor you.

A morning cup of coffee in silence, a moment to pray, a short walk, a few minutes of journaling…whatever reminds you that your life belongs to you. These moments don’t have to be grand to be grounding.

5. Choose self-trust over perfection.

Instead of asking, “What’s the right way?” try asking, “What feels aligned for me?” Trusting yourself, even in small choices, creates a life led by intuition, not obligation.

Stepping out of the “shoulds” and into your power isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a gentle practice, a relearning, a homecoming. It’s choosing to honor your seasons, your voice, and your truth with a tenderness that the world may not always offer you. But you can offer it to yourself. And when you do, everything shifts: how you move, how you mother, how you dream, how you simply exist.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to keep this conversation going. Subscribe to my newsletter for more reflections, stories, and gentle reminders that who you are—right now, as you are—is enough. Let’s grow through these seasons together.